A healthy set of boundaries is vital to self care. Without boundaries you can end up feeling taken advantage of, depleted, taken for granted, intruded upon, resentful, hurt, angry or burnt out. All indications point to me having insufficient boundaries established. Let’s take a look at some signs you may need to build your boundaries up.
If you are a people pleaser, you may need to check your boundaries. People pleaser is just as it sounds. It is a person who spends their time trying to please people. Going along with an idea even though it doesn’t suit you, specifically, would be one example. I am a people pleaser.
Oversharing could be a sign of lack of boundaries. Oversharing is when you are a little to revealing about intimate contacts or other personal information. One example of oversharing is telling your boss you had your date over to your house last night. I do not have a problem with oversharing.
A victim mentality is a sign of lack of boundaries. A victim mentality can be a response to trauma or abuse and occurs when you look for problems where there aren’t any, believe you cannot get a fair shot , blame others or fail to take responsibility for your own life. One example is trying to make someone else feel guilty when you get injured. I do not tend to play the victim.
Another sign you need to set some boundaries is when you just don’t feel appreciated. An example is when you do something for someone else and you don’t think they showed the appropriate gratitude. I hate to admit it, but I an very guilty of that.
If you feel guilty doing anything for yourself, such as getting your nails done or buying a ticket to go with one of the guys to a baseball game, you may be lacking in boundaries. I love doing things for myself so I’m safe here.
You may have boundary issues if you worry about what others think of you. If you do a thorough self-assessent after not getting as much attention as you expected, this might be an issue for you. It definately is for me.
If you feel like you have to earn your place, either in the world, in your family or in a social setting, you need boundaries. Let’s say, for instance, you feel like you have to give your mother grandchildren in order to be as important to her as your sisters; that’s a sign you need boundaries. I am not lacking in this capacity.
So I apparentally show three out of seven signs of needing boundaries. That’s just about half. How did you do? I am planning on having another blog ready by tomorrow instructing you on how to establish boundaries. Check back in if you scored low like I did and think you could benefit from some boundaries.